the traffic light says green…

 

"I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know we’re better off letting go. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t really have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than absolutely nothing. But the truth is: To have it halfway is harder than not having it at all."

"how far would one go for love?
  a heart endures, but for how long?
           until when will it stay put before it finally breaks?
how much hurt can it bear before it finally bids a total surrender?"

"a schoolgirl crush blossomed into unrequited love.. = ) "

 

"love is a poison to the soul, it intoxicates, it kills but it’s addictive. love runs in our veins, yes it’s in our system. we all have it, had it. our own fair share of LOVE. of silly stories to tell, of whines to bellow, of never ending dramas. Love love love. it makes the world go round. some have it, while others lost it. LOVE, everyone wants a piece of it.  but those who came across it are fearful, terrified not to be able to keep it, to make it stay. LOVE, it comes in the most unconventional of ways, of forms. it surfaces just as swift as it leaves. sometimes it waves goodbye, but most often it goes away without bidding a farewell. LOVE, when it departs it breaks the heart, fatally. lots of remedies but no cure. it brings melancholy to the soul. it lingers. it kills. it CHANGES.

love love love. it stings, but we all want it.

to love and be loved in return.

to be hurt and shed our own share of tears.

for LOVE’s sake.=)"

 

 

"maybe we all want to be in pain. a part of us wants to be hurt. perhaps because pain is a better poison than emptiness. with pain, comfort awaits, it follows after. but with emptiness there’s nothing, nothing. emptiness annihilates; the numbness, it consumes.. and before we knew it, we no longer know how to breathe…"

 

".. maybe i’m always playing safe. maybe i’m too scared to get out of the safe zone,  too petrified to take risks — and i was never able to take any. and maybe it’s good, because i’m out of harm’s way. no pain, no tears. nothing, i will lose certainly nothing. but… no rewards to reap either. maybe it’s alright, just fine. or maybe not. maybe a lot more awaits outside, or lots more to lose if i go out. maybe there’s really a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or maybe there isn’t. maybe it’s worth it, or perhaps not. how would i know? i guess i wouldn’t know. taking risks is only for the brave, not for a faint of heart like me…"

 

it’s just that, "we always fall short"..

LOVE catastrophes:

1. an unrequited love

2. a mutual love at the wrong ebb  of time, of circumstances

3. a love never heed or expressed

4. a love lost along the way

it’s tragic how love is tainted with so much complications. how its magic is not enough to bind two people who adore each other together, to transform the circumstances and defy time, to just stay and last despite the odds, to have endings as sweet as its beginnings.

it’s ironic how love can be so vindictive, how it can leave one bitter and in pain when all that one does is love.

"because of the fear of change or the unknown, we could choose the status quo.. we could refuse to move forward.. we could remain stuck between dreams, loves, careers and callings.. and instead of working on casting our sails and allowing a second wind to propel the next half of our life’s journey, we could drown in boredom and regress to smaller versions of ourselves, refusing to learn anything new and becoming judgmental and bitter over lives unlived.."

just something i wrote for our school paper way back first year college.. again, i found it while i was browsing through my files and i felt like sharing it to all of you.. one more thing, i encourage you to go over the files in your computer, surely, one way or another, you’ll find a treasure worth remembering there.. so, here goes..

    Abyss

I gazed upon the horizon, yet I saw nothing,

The sound of silence has captured my being.

The waves of darkness filled me to the very core,

My existence nears its end, that I couldn’t ignore.

 

Little by little, I heard some voices,

Ricochets, I grasped from all courses.

Trembling I am and full of fear,

For the road I’m taking seems very unclear.

 

I glanced around and a silhouette of a lad I noticed,

I tried to call him but the music of my voice has momentarily vanished.

I clenched my throat trying to produce a sound,

But nothing seems to come out, I fell to the ground.

 

As I lay here in this torturing abyss,

My life flashed before me and all the memories.

I never quite imagined the scenes before me,

But those were the things I did and that was reality.

 

Images of certain people glinted before my very eyes,

My mom, my dad and my brothers, those aren’t lies.

I extended my frail and feeble arms to get hold of them,

But they were so far away, my tears, indeed, I am condemned.

 

What is this? What happened to me?

I want to live and I wanna be free.

But it seems they are all far away, departed and dead,

For those are just thoughts resonating around my head,

 

I’m sorry, forgive me, please do give me another chance.

Tell me, will you, I’m just trapped in my endless trance.

Someone came and touched my hand; I looked above and then saw a beam,

Tears and smiles spread across my face, I thank God for it was all a dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 
Dream until you can reach the end of the horizon. Dream of all the wondrous and happiest things in life. Dream of the thousand things you wish to happen. Dream until you can no longer dream. For when the very moment you open your eyes, you embrace your senses and you’ll come rushing back to the painful sight of reality.

I pictured a scene in my dream where I was alone and in total darkness, where no one could hear me and where no one could reach out for my hand. I couldn’t quite get what was happening to me and confusion wraps my whole body. There was a torturing silence and yet there were murmurs in my head about the things I did. It saddens me that I haven’t done everything I could, but then there was no escape from it; I lay there in the tormenting abyss. But then I woke up and then I realized it was all a dream. 

We’ve always believed that dreams are our venues for running away from veracity. It is where we cease to suffer and begin our own adventure. But dreams aren’t all that, they also let us see the different side of life and that is where reality enters and greatly serves as our solace.

there’s always a downside in everything..
believe me..
because you think you already know all there is to know..
but,
you’re wrong..
you think you’re part of their lives..
well,
you should think again..
you’ve wasted your time thinking you were someone,
when in fact,
truth be told,
people have lives of their own and they don’t even give a damn..
you were consumed by your own thoughts,
oh,
the visions of what the mind creates..
but,,
wake up..
…because..,everything only happened in your mind…

even though things are quite back to normal..
there’s always this something that will disturb you..
it goes back to your senses once in awhile..
yes, it’s been like a month after all those things happened..
i was able to cope up and go on with my life..
new persons i have met and new experiences i have done..
there are a lot of things to be happy about..
you go on with your life, the daily things you do..
and you do it with a smile on your face..
but then, when you are on your own again..
i must say, bitterness still envelopes my soul..
i’m still angry for all the things that happened..
for all the lies i’ve heard..
for all the promises left broken..
for all the pains brought by him..
for all the tears i’ve shed..
im still furious..
but, as much as i want to hate him..
i can’t seem to do it..
i still can’t help but think and reminisce ..
reminisce the happy moments we somehow spent with each other..
the sweet nothings we said to each one..
and every memory i have with him..
as much as i want to be friends with him again,.
it doesn’t seem so..
i think i’ve somehow regained my pride after him shattering it into pieces..
sometimes, thoughts against him are stored in my mind..
i curse him…
and eagerly wait for the day that he’ll come up to me and ask my help..
because everything he has seemed lost..
he’ll have no one to talk to but me..
i know it sounds selfish..
but you can’t blame my mind for thinking that way..
i’m only human..
i just can’t sit here and cry…
but, i take it from him..
he taught me how to be strong..
he taught me that somehow life is not just full of happy endings..
once in a while you are hurt and once in a while you love..
but that’s just how living is..
amidst the things that happened..
i have come to realize that there’s something constant in this world..
love of God of course, love from family and
TRUE friends..
that whatever may happen to me..
they will always be there..(i hope!!)
to nag and point out my wrong..
to say how stupid and crazy i am..
but still, to say that’s just how it is to love,..
and trust me, they always have those arms to hug and comfort you..
and that’s one thing to be very happy about..
you seldom find friends like that..
but, i’m also patiently waiting for the moment to come..
when i am already free from all the resentment i have..
when i am ready to embrace and totally forgive..
and when my heart will be open again
for lovable people who are equally capable of giving me love..
as i look at my life..
i know this is just a little test that God has given me..
there are lots to come..
but,
i’m ready for all of those!!