the traffic light says green…

 

i don’t like it when she cries because i can’t stop my tears from falling down my eyes too..

it’s been so long since i last saw those teardrops streaming down her gentle face..

but i guess each one of us in our family has suppressed emotions..

and at some point we just can’t stop hiding and pretending and eventually tears will fall..

funny thing was, we were at jollibee..

*laughs*

have you ever thought of how it feels like to be with someone you love..
iv’e always dreamt of things like that..
the first magical moment of drawing our eyes together..
the first hi’s and hello’s..
i’ve always fantasized of meeting my prince charming..
the one who will readily sweep me off my feet..
but,
as i ponder and ruminate on those things,
i can’t help but ask why it took him so long..
up until now, i haven’t found the very boy who will make me happy..
who will treat me like a princess and protect me with all his majesty..
i sometimes envy those girls who can have any boy she wants..
like from the first look, would doodle away and act like a puppy..
not that i wanted it to be like that..
whenever i look in the mirror,
i see an image of a blissful lass, but somehow,
when i closely look at it,
i see an image of a little girl who longs to be loved..
who longs to be treated with magnificence and gentleness…
i don’t wanna think it this way,
but it often comes to my mind, am i that unpretty?!
am i that unattractive or is there something wrong with my personality,
that those things hinder him from looking at me as a lady..
i’ve always been on the average, on the mundane
and i’ve been hidden in my shell for quite some time..
at times, i see nothing special in me..
that i’m a nobody and that nothing would change if i will be free..

but then,
i may be considered as one of those ugly ducklings,
someway and somehow,
i could turn out to be the most beautiful swan you’ll ever see..

 

"I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know we’re better off letting go. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t really have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than absolutely nothing. But the truth is: To have it halfway is harder than not having it at all."

"how far would one go for love?
  a heart endures, but for how long?
           until when will it stay put before it finally breaks?
how much hurt can it bear before it finally bids a total surrender?"

"a schoolgirl crush blossomed into unrequited love.. = ) "

 

"love is a poison to the soul, it intoxicates, it kills but it’s addictive. love runs in our veins, yes it’s in our system. we all have it, had it. our own fair share of LOVE. of silly stories to tell, of whines to bellow, of never ending dramas. Love love love. it makes the world go round. some have it, while others lost it. LOVE, everyone wants a piece of it.  but those who came across it are fearful, terrified not to be able to keep it, to make it stay. LOVE, it comes in the most unconventional of ways, of forms. it surfaces just as swift as it leaves. sometimes it waves goodbye, but most often it goes away without bidding a farewell. LOVE, when it departs it breaks the heart, fatally. lots of remedies but no cure. it brings melancholy to the soul. it lingers. it kills. it CHANGES.

love love love. it stings, but we all want it.

to love and be loved in return.

to be hurt and shed our own share of tears.

for LOVE’s sake.=)"

 

 

"maybe we all want to be in pain. a part of us wants to be hurt. perhaps because pain is a better poison than emptiness. with pain, comfort awaits, it follows after. but with emptiness there’s nothing, nothing. emptiness annihilates; the numbness, it consumes.. and before we knew it, we no longer know how to breathe…"

 

".. maybe i’m always playing safe. maybe i’m too scared to get out of the safe zone,  too petrified to take risks — and i was never able to take any. and maybe it’s good, because i’m out of harm’s way. no pain, no tears. nothing, i will lose certainly nothing. but… no rewards to reap either. maybe it’s alright, just fine. or maybe not. maybe a lot more awaits outside, or lots more to lose if i go out. maybe there’s really a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or maybe there isn’t. maybe it’s worth it, or perhaps not. how would i know? i guess i wouldn’t know. taking risks is only for the brave, not for a faint of heart like me…"

 

it’s just that, "we always fall short"..

LOVE catastrophes:

1. an unrequited love

2. a mutual love at the wrong ebb  of time, of circumstances

3. a love never heed or expressed

4. a love lost along the way

it’s tragic how love is tainted with so much complications. how its magic is not enough to bind two people who adore each other together, to transform the circumstances and defy time, to just stay and last despite the odds, to have endings as sweet as its beginnings.

it’s ironic how love can be so vindictive, how it can leave one bitter and in pain when all that one does is love.

"because of the fear of change or the unknown, we could choose the status quo.. we could refuse to move forward.. we could remain stuck between dreams, loves, careers and callings.. and instead of working on casting our sails and allowing a second wind to propel the next half of our life’s journey, we could drown in boredom and regress to smaller versions of ourselves, refusing to learn anything new and becoming judgmental and bitter over lives unlived.."

Mysteriously and unknowingly, her mind wandered along the streets of nowhere..

Insistently trying to fix and mend what once was whole that was left hanging in dead air..

Grueling thoughts have taken over her soul with sobs and cries she kept trying to ignore..

Under the night sky she stared and stood, still hoping for a wish, please just one more..

Everything seemed absurd, the least she could do was run away..

Looking back that bittersweet night, the world was filled with color, now, all that’s left are shades of  gray..

 

Alone again, with a numbing heart singing an empty song..

No matter what she thinks, she could not fathom what went wrong..

True enough, without saying a word, her world crumbled right before her very eyes..

Once was bearable but tell me this time, can she handle it twice?

Nostalgia shook her head once more, all she could ever think of was when will it end, she couldn’t take it anymore..

Immobilized by worthlessness and fear, life continues meaningless without letting anyone come near..

Over and over, she brags to herself that things will be ok, but every time he gazes her way, her pleading eyes just shouts, "please stay!"

 

Giving up is probably one of the best thing that anyone can do.. but..

Undeniably, it just doesn’t make any sense at all when everywhere she looks, all she could ever think of is you..

Instantly, you had her at hello, she didn’t quite realize it until it was time for you to go.. but..

Nothing can stop her, futile as it may seem, maybe not now, but sooner or later, a little girl can always dream..

One step at a time, they all say, in silence, this yearning and hopeful heart will always find a way.. and..

Only if you tell her to stop and leave, will she ever turn around and walk away…

Filipinos were always been thought to be fast learners, however as years pass by, it has declined much significantly. Before, most of the children used to go to school but now, they are found in the streets selling, if not, begging for money or for food. It is such a pity seeing them like that when you know that at that age, they should be well taken cared of, guided by elders and honed to become better individuals. To have a good education was supposed to be the right of every Filipino citizen, however as time goes by, it has only been a privilege for those who can afford and those who have adequate resources. Schools are very limited to accommodate so many students each year and there is no budget provided by the government to build new schools for children. Education is not the priority of the Philippine government nor is it the second one. This is perhaps the reason why even if the Department of Education wants to find solutions for the scarcity of schools and books, they can never push through with some of their ideas since there are limited resources. Not only is there a scarcity of schools and books but also, there is a shortage of teachers. The number of teachers has declined since some of them opt to teach abroad due to the fact that there is a very small salary here in the country. The minimum wage could not afford to raise them from poverty and salary here is not enough to meet the needs of each member of the family. And with the limited budget, employment rate is significantly low. Also, since more and more teachers are going abroad, their expertises are brought with them. Those left behind are not competent enough to teach and render good quality education. Some of them are just teaching for the sake of earning money and not about helping the next generation and honing them to become the saving grace of the nation. The burning passion to teach cannot be seen in their eyes and they only see teaching as a job and not as something which they can dedicate their lives to. Also, more and more students from private schools have transferred to public schools since the parents cannot afford anymore to send them to private schools. With this, there is additional percent to children studying in public schools and it poses another problem. One solution that they did for this is that they created double shifts. There are morning classes and afternoon classes. However, I believe that this is not enough for a growing and curious child. A child needs more and more time to learn and the given period is not adequate for better learning. Also, teachers would be so tired that they cannot make the most out of their abilities. They cannot teach well and would just resort to giving activities thus having less input to the part of the child. This is such a very sad reality for all of us. The children were supposed to be the hope of the nation, but what will happen if this problem persists? I believe that action should be done immediately before further damage can be inflicted.

 krissy’s inlove.. hahaha..=p

"’if you ask why i’m not interested in someone, i might say their nose is too big, or they don’t know how to dress, or they’re too thin or too fat or too plain. but the truth is, i only notice those things because of the real reason– that i’m just not feeling anything. but people don’t want to hear that. they always want an explanation. so i have to come up with something concrete even though feelings aren’t like that. if i did meet a guy and i felt happy with him for whatever reason, i wouldn’t give a rat’s ass what he wore or how tall he was or what he did for a living. but when i’m with someone and it just doesn’t feel right, that’s when i start noticing the bad haircut or Chicago accent or unibrow. and it’s true that tomorrow i may go home with someone who you think is totally wrong for me. and the next day i might meet a perfectly nice guy who you think i should feel excited about, but i don’t. but if i do go home with someone, it means for a change, something feels right. for a change, i’m feeling hopeful. i just want to feel happy when i’m with someone. is that so wrong?’" - -starting from square two