the traffic light says green…

a lot has been going in my mind for the past few days.. so many questions, what if’s, insights, realizations and the like..these thoughts seem to bother me once in awhile and the more i think about it, the more confused i get.. and to add up, the more i try to shove it away my thoughts, the more it comes back to my senses.. yes, it keeps me standing still however, it hinders me from moving on and going forward to where i want my life to be.. that is, if ever i really know what i want and where to go.. but the point is, if i keep on dwelling with the bad things and the misfortunes of life and keep on rationalizing and justifying my actions, i’d miss out on the good things and the fun that life has to offer.. what more, i’d truly miss out on the joy and wonder of unfolding the mysteries and revealing the secrets of our existence.. so before i get the hang of things and before these thoughts start to get into my being, i’ll be taking some time off.. indeed, i’ll be going somewhere far from home for the first time ALONE!!.. but the truth of the matter is, i’ll be going to the "city who took my father away.."  it gives me the creeps thinking about it but it’s time to face it.. and trust me, there will be more mind-boggling thoughts and soul-searching.. but who cares, i’m in for the surprises of my life..=)