i just have to try..
life has not been so easy these days..
i try to pretend that everything’s fine,
that i can manage all the things happening around me..
that i can let people see an image of a happy and contented person..
i go about doing the same things everyday..
doing stuff that i need to accomplish,
trying to please and understand each person along my way..
looking for answers that i know i can never find..
asking endless questions and wondering what might have been..
feeling in a state of bliss with the company of friends..
but sooner or later, finding myself alone as ever..
i stop and ponder why it has been like that,
why my journey ceased to reflect a vision of me..
i am currently unaware of who i really am..
what i really want and,
where i wanna go in this life..
my existence has been a constant motion..
no excitements, no thrills, no enthusiasm..
just merely doing what ought to be done..
all because something is bothering me..
i have so many what if’s in my mind..
what if i did this, what if i did that,
what if i held on,
what if i was stronger and braver during those times..
what if i gave myself a chance to do what i want..
so many what if’s that i coudn’t help but stop putting it down..
i don’t want to live a life full of regrets..
i don’t wanna see myself depressed over something,
that i know i could never bring back..
all i have are bittersweet memories of the past..
the fun, the joys, the happy company, sweet nothings,
and everything and anything about it..
i don’t know where this would lead me..
all i know is that it’s time to move on and go on..
start anew and begin another wonderful milestone..
it’s not that easy,
but i just have to try….
