nice feeling..
even though things are quite back to normal..
there’s always this something that will disturb you..
it goes back to your senses once in awhile..
yes, it’s been like a month after all those things happened..
i was able to cope up and go on with my life..
new persons i have met and new experiences i have done..
there are a lot of things to be happy about..
you go on with your life, the daily things you do..
and you do it with a smile on your face..
but then, when you are on your own again..
i must say, bitterness still envelopes my soul..
i’m still angry for all the things that happened..
for all the lies i’ve heard..
for all the promises left broken..
for all the pains brought by him..
for all the tears i’ve shed..
im still furious..
but, as much as i want to hate him..
i can’t seem to do it..
i still can’t help but think and reminisce ..
reminisce the happy moments we somehow spent with each other..
the sweet nothings we said to each one..
and every memory i have with him..
as much as i want to be friends with him again,.
it doesn’t seem so..
i think i’ve somehow regained my pride after him shattering it into pieces..
sometimes, thoughts against him are stored in my mind..
i curse him…
and eagerly wait for the day that he’ll come up to me and ask my help..
because everything he has seemed lost..
he’ll have no one to talk to but me..
i know it sounds selfish..
but you can’t blame my mind for thinking that way..
i’m only human..
i just can’t sit here and cry…
but, i take it from him..
he taught me how to be strong..
he taught me that somehow life is not just full of happy endings..
once in a while you are hurt and once in a while you love..
but that’s just how living is..
amidst the things that happened..
i have come to realize that there’s something constant in this world..
love of God of course, love from family and
TRUE friends..
that whatever may happen to me..
they will always be there..(i hope!!)
to nag and point out my wrong..
to say how stupid and crazy i am..
but still, to say that’s just how it is to love,..
and trust me, they always have those arms to hug and comfort you..
and that’s one thing to be very happy about..
you seldom find friends like that..
but, i’m also patiently waiting for the moment to come..
when i am already free from all the resentment i have..
when i am ready to embrace and totally forgive..
and when my heart will be open again
for lovable people who are equally capable of giving me love..
as i look at my life..
i know this is just a little test that God has given me..
there are lots to come..
but,
i’m ready for all of those!!
