the traffic light says green…

"the little things" is a song by colbie caillat in her album "coco"..

somehow, this is precisely what i feel right now.. just breathe in the lyrics and you’ll see..

 

 

i’m home! i’m back again to the place where i belong.. i’ve been away for five days, (it’s as if i’ve been gone for a year..haha.. ok, it’s less than a week) to go on duty in digos, davao del sur, a one-hour travel away from davao.. we were assigned in digos doctor’s hospital nusring station 4 and we were so damn lucky.. census of patients would range from 5 to 10.. haha.. since it was a super private area of the hospital so only a few can afford.. some patients who were admitted there would immediately request to transfer in cheaper rooms.. so, in the end, we were left with only a few patients.. thank God!..=) with that number, we were tasked to do everything for the patient, chart, medicate, bedside care and everything and anything that we can do.. so lucky! definitely.. in our dormitory, i felt like we were in the pinoy big brother since we were not allowed to go out unless it’s really important.. there, i learned a lot of household chores.. from washing my clothes to ironing them and being responsible enough to clean my mess and of course, i definitley learned how to budget, budget, and budget! hahaha..=p though during our whole stay there, we just ate and ate and ate and slept.. haha..=p it’s not so bad to be away from home since i learned how to take care of myself and be independent..i’m always a spoiled brat whenever i’m home.. haha.. so this experience taught me a lot.. i don’t really have much to say.. all i know is that i’m happy to be back in my room, my comfortable bed with all the pillows, happy to be with my family again back to being a spoiled brat, nah just kidding… simply put, i’m just so happy to be HOME..=)

got this tag from ruthi..

checked it out and eventually found myself agreeing with some, uhmm, maybe most of them.. haha..=p

Here are the rules:
1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3. Pick your month of birth.
4. Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5. Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
6. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!

The Twelve Months

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes.Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody. Most of these traits are true for me.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic. Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical. hahaha..=p

so now i’ll tag..

intensive care unit=check.. hahaha..=p at long last, we were already finished with our duty in the davao medical center intensive care unit.. i don’t know why i badly wanted it to end when in fact the patient we handled was just so sweet and we learned a lot.. and i do mean, a lot.. ok, so maybe the reason why i want that grueling shift to end because of our monstrous clinical instructor.. forgive me for using the term.. but in my point of view, she is just so annoying and she degrades the confidence and motivation that we have in order to work at our best.. she treats us as if we are like pieces of shit since she wants to be the best there, blah, blah, blah.. she acts as if she’s the NOD there.. ugh! and she can’t see any goodness in other people especially in her students.. we are always WRONG in her eyes.. whenever she teaches a procedure, she teaches as if she’s nagging with a tone of superiority and arrogance.. also, whenever doctors and watchers arrive, she acts as if she’s this angel from heaven.. ugh! ggrrr!! oh my! i’ve never been the type to hold grudges to a person but i can’t really take it anymore.. at least i wrote all down my feelings here than say it right infront of her face.. that would be such a mean thing to do and i won’t resort to that.. haha.. oh lord! forgive me for all these angry outbursts.. anyways, enough of that.. i learned how to do ngt feeding, cbg monitoring, shampoo in bed and bed bath as quick as possible..also, i learned how to operate the gadgets there.. save me from ignorance! haha..=p i admit it’s really different performing it in a return demonstration than in the actual.. icu requires all its nurses to be swift and quick in doing all the procedures since we are dealing with critical patients here and one wrong move can put the life of a person at stake.. i also learned never to hesitate in doing a procedure and to always have confidence and trust in oneself.. after all, no one’s gonna motivate you other than yourself.. being responsible and having presence of mind are some of the things that i really learned.. it takes patience, hard work , knowledge, critical thinking and dedication to survive in this kind of profession.. and i admit, it’s not that easy when so many forces are trying to pull you down.. sometimes, we just have to learn things the hard way.. but perhaps, it’s not always a disadvantage for after everything, emotions and feelings will just come and go but the learnings that we gained in this experience would stick with us for the rest of our lives..:) at least, there’s something to be happy about.. cheers!

the air moves regardless of what season it may be.. leaves fall even if you can’t see.. birds chirp even if you can’t hear.. life changes even if it may seem unclear.. i can never deny that things have really changed.. but somehow, change is good, right? coz’ that’s where we start to grow.. who would want a monotonous life? all of us are living our own lives.. my friends are now heading to their own path.. and i am moving on to where God has planned for me.. although at this point in time, i am not sure where it really is… they now have thair own stories to tell. new sets of experiences, and a bunch of their own funny moments.. and as mcuh as i want to know all of them just like the old times, i can’t really seem to do it.. time has flown so fast without even us noticing.. it’s been like a month or two since we last saw each other.. time has been so selfish and has not permitted us to.. i just miss my friends.. the everyday nonsense we do that would always leave us crying for joy, and wanting for more.. the usual sitting down in one corner and sharing how our day had been.. with all the jokes, "libaks", own trips, tears and laughters, we sure do had lots of good times together.. i just miss their company and just simply being with them.. time has come when we have to share all those things to new people.. i have a good deal of new friends right now.. i belong to a section where we all understand each other.. where together, we face the challenges of our so-called nursing career.. we always hang out together, and it seems as if a day wouldn’t be complete without us laughing around and having fun.. amidst all the pressures, we still find time to do all those things.. my friends always say that i’m the lucky one. because i don’t have one of my friends with me but hey, if they only know.. it isn’t easy being alone.. i am surrounded with peers who have their old friends with them inside the class.. and when they start to converse about their old times.. i just sit there listening wondering what might be if i also have someone to converse with.. i have persons whom i could really share my life, my secrets and my innermost thoughts and feelings.. but somehow, it’s really different when you share your feelings to friends you grew up with.. but then, life is like that.. as they say, if you cease to change, you cease to live.. i will never forget the memories we once shared i will always hold on to the friendship we had.. and wherever life may lead us, and even if new friends may come and go, all of you will always have a special place in my heart.. and i will eagerly wait for the day, when we will all finally see each other do the stuff we always do.. when we will have all the time in the world.. and share to each other how we become the persons we have come to be.. i miss you…

life has not been so easy these days..                   
i try to pretend that everything’s fine,
that i can manage all the things happening around me..
that i can let people see an image of a happy and contented person..
i go about doing the same things everyday..
doing stuff that i need to accomplish,
trying to please and understand each person along my way..
looking for answers that i know i can never find..
asking endless questions and wondering what might have been..
feeling in a state of bliss with the company of friends..
but sooner or later, finding myself alone as ever..
i stop and ponder why it has been like that,
why my journey ceased to reflect a vision of me..
i am currently unaware of who i really am..
what i really want and,
where i wanna go in this life..
my existence has been a constant motion..
no excitements, no thrills, no enthusiasm..
just merely doing what ought to be done..
all because something is bothering me..
i have so many what if’s in my mind..
what if i did this, what if i did that,
what if i held on,
what if i was stronger and braver during those times..
what if i gave myself a chance to do what i want..
so many what if’s that i coudn’t help but stop putting it down..
i don’t want to live a life full of regrets..
i don’t wanna see myself depressed over something,
that i know i could never bring back..
all i have are bittersweet memories of the past..
the fun, the joys, the happy company, sweet nothings,
and everything and anything about it..  
i don’t know where this would lead me..
all i know is that it’s time to move on and go on..
start anew and  begin another wonderful milestone..
it’s not that easy,
but i just have to try….
 

just something i wrote for a very dear friend on her 18th birthday..
well, here goes..

 

 Like a flower that blooms at midday,

A new chapter has finally come your way

The stars twinkle and shine in a vast array

Something magical happens on your special day

 

Vulnerable and fickle you were back then,

Foolish and imprudent uttered some men

Whether or not they were telling something true

It doesn’t matter to me, they don’t have any clue

 

It was not so long ago since you crashed your life to mine

I don’t know if the thought would make me happy,

But you’ve definitely crossed the line

It was your face that would greet me anywhere I go

And that would always lead to something crazy, that I surely know

 

I don’t know why in an instant we clicked

Maybe it was because of the way we think

Dreams, fantasies, reveries or whatever you call it

It completes our day, it’s simply magic

 

Ok, maybe you have some moods and occasional hot tempers

But who cares, it’s just for awhile, it wouldn’t last forever

But maybe now, as you’re getting older,

Please control your anger and your regressive behaviors

 

When I come to think of it,

Maybe that’s what’s different and great in you,

You show who you really are and you’re being true

Especially to people you don’t really like

They just have to deal with it or else you’ll strike

 

So maybe I started on the wrong side,

But just like you, your goodness, it won’t hide

Deep within you, I know you care and you understand

You surely are ready to lend a helping hand

 

Being with you is just simply amazing

Great wonders and joy it could bring

I know you are capable of so many things

I believe in you and in the power of your dreams

 

Wherever you may go,

Remember I’m just here and you will always have a friend in me

A friend who can be as crazy as you could be

I may not say everything I want to say in this piece of paper

But hold in your heart the memories we shared,

Memories that will be cherished forever.